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A Freelancer's Thought.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Thinking about what I want to do, I find myself at a lost at this cross-road junction. I think this question/decision has surfaced every now and then since months back when I am freelancing.

Yes, I like freelancing, able to work from home, control the time to work. I like meeting with people finding out what I can do for them. As much as I am trying to get ahead of time to provide fast around, lately I been throttling back a project which been dragging a while and the turn around for a few replies.

And then I went for some interview recommended by friend/ex-colleague. And one agency called me up to arrange and interview with a Japanese bank. Went thru interviews and seems quite confident of getting it. Then last sunday evening another ex-colleague offer me a two months job contract with a good package. So I thought to myself its' rather attactive and although it might be tough, it is a good challenge for me to take it up and learn something from it. Then the after feeling of my guilt telling me that I felt sorry or injustified to the bank who I have went interviewed with. Am I some too much of emotions for this?

The reason why I went freelancing was because I wanted to take a break to do the things I want to do. The typical singaporean here will find themselves tied to bills, loans or family when they have family, committments etc. Foreseeing such, initially I was thinking to just do freelance for like half year to a year like that and get back to the work force when the time is ripe. But on and off I got this thought to urge me back to the main stream and so it left me thinking if I am not staying focus in my freelancing attitude?

Somehow it's rather complicated in my heart, the tag of war to remain freelancing or work the life of main stream. Got a friend from this agency which I just freelanced with, urged me to continue freelancing as the freelance pool of good developer is few. He has also offered me to join him full time developer in his agency but I turned him down politelly. Some how I am not too impressed of (advertising) agencies, their projects seems to be repeating much the same.

If i should continued freelancing, another about five more months to go will mark a year of anniversary. Don't know why some people likes to think that freelancer are people who are very free. And from some expression who has their jaw dropped, they classified them as the unorthodox class of works. These people I would say are too well accustomed to having regular fixed income montly. Taking about income, so far I am earning just enough to get by my living expense, with a few invoices on hold to chase after.

To complete off, I knew that I am less stressed and much happier as compared to my previous job. It seems so tiring and stressful at the last job whereby you are roped last minute into the projects that are failing/falling behind time.

Another two months of contract job and it's a new year 2007, by then should I have made a decision? I am still indecisive as it is, hopefully the next two months can further strengthen what I want to do...

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